Update #15 - Where I get distracted, disappear up my own bum, and experience a long, dark teatime of the soul

This is where I share what I’ve been up to behind the scenes to move my art career forward - the good, the bad, and the as-yet-to-be-determined.

It’s been a minute since I sent you one of these more personal updates, and I know it’s long overdue. The last few months have been somewhat challenging, both on a personal and a professional level, but I feel like I’ve turned a corner recently and I’m really keen to reconnect with all of you.

It is a long one, though, so grab a cuppa and strap in!

The Rose is something that went well, the Thorn is something that didn’t go so well or is challenging, and the Bud is something that is still percolating…

I usually start with the ROSE in these updates and end with the THORN, but this time it feels like the thorny stuff has been most prevalent and has directly led to the rosy stuff, so let’s start by looking at the challenges.

THORN

I was reading back over my last few Rose/Bud/Thorn updates recently, and I’m struck by how excited I was to have uncovered the golden thread in my work (to recap, throughout my career, no matter what I’ve been doing, the focus has always been on connection/community). I was gathering momentum, and I was full of energy and enthusiasm for the next steps. But then…

What happened next is… well, it’s complicated. I allowed myself to get distracted and ended up isolating myself and spinning into my own little world. I prioritised the wrong things and the connection piece that is so important to me and to you and to the work got kind of lost along the way. Mostly, I just didn’t have the bandwidth I needed to engage with, well… anything really.

I was still doing things - a few podcast interviews, weekly emails, a collection launch for Tussie Mussie (which did actually go really well), but I felt so disconnected - like I was just going through the motions. A close friend commented that it felt like I was keeping everyone at arm’s length, and I know exactly what she meant.

Now I’m pretty sure I know why this happened - part of it was burnout, part of it was self-sabotage, part of it was a necessary detour, part of it was down to challenges in my personal life (such as my poor Dad being diagnosed with cancer), and part of it was the exhaustion we’re all feeling from the state of the world. The disheartening result of the US election is just the latest in a list that goes on and on and on.

But this litany of doom and gloom is not intended to depress you, or to make you feel bad for me. This is life - we have ups and we have downs.

I’ve also been dealing with, not exactly a creative block - because the ideas never stop coming - but something more akin to an execution block? A ‘following through’ block? I’ve made almost nothing - I’ve barely even touched my sketchbook, which is practically unheard of. Not exactly ideal.

All this to say: if you have felt the disconnect too - this is why, and the rest of this message is about turning it around.

BUD

This period of withdrawal has made me acutely aware of what’s truly important, and so in the coming months my primary focus will be on connecting (and reconnecting) with my community - you spectacular humans who make this whole thing worthwhile.

I’m ready to be in community with you again, both on and offline. Which includes picking up YouTube again (yay!) - albeit at a slightly less intense pace than before.

Personally, I’m realigning myself with what brings me joy. I’m vaguely horrified that I’ve barely picked up a book in the last four months, much less my art materials. It’s time to start having some fun again!

In the more external realm, I am in the process of switching my website from Squarespace to Shopify. I kept coming up against limitations of Squarespace’s ecommerce capabilities, and Shopify is a far more robust option (and also means I can offer payment plans and much more). That will be going live very soon, and I think it’s going to make a huge difference.

ROSE

Ah the good stuff… now it may seem from the horrors above that there hasn’t been much rosy stuff happening lately, but that’s not strictly true.

I had several exciting shop drops - we had the Tussie Mussie launch in September, which went better than I hoped. I actually sold a third of the collection, which is fantastic! I also launched some new limited edition prints in October, and whilst these weren’t as popular as I had hoped, the people who have purchased them have been amazing (one even wrote a whole article about why she chose to invest in her piece!)

I did a few wonderful podcast interviews with some excellent hosts (if you found your way here via one of those - welcome!).

The best thing of all, though, is that I learned. I learned A LOT. I learned that my art resonates most when I'm fully present and connected with you all. I learned that sometimes stepping back helps you see the bigger picture more clearly. And most importantly, I learned that my wonderful community is right here waiting for me, being supportive and patient while I figure my shit out.

I feel like I’ve been through a crash course in both personal and business development and I feel so much clearer and more confident than ever before.

This has been a really foundational year for me, and I’ve spent most of it throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Moving into next year I have a much narrower focus, and a clearer idea of what matters (and what works).

Ultimately it’s all about two things - the art and the people. Everything else is just a distraction.