Have you ever wanted to be someone else?

I have always been fascinated by alter-egos. The idea that you can step into a completely different version of yourself, one that has none of your hang-ups, or fears, or baggage. Someone who embodies a completely different aspect of who you are. If feels delicious, and subversive, and powerful.

I think my attraction to these fantasy selves stems from being autistic - seems kinda obvious, no? When much of your life has been spent masking, it’s only a matter of time before you stop and examine what that mask looks like.

People have long used alter egos as a means of exploration, expression, and transformation. These invented personas allow us to step outside ourselves, push boundaries, and delve into aspects of our psyche that might otherwise remain hidden.

Artists and alter-egos are natural bedfellows too - authors use pen names (particularly if they want to step outside of the genre they’re famous for). Musicians (Bowie probably being the most well-known for this) often change characters for each new album, or (like Beyonce with her Sasha Fierce) will use a persona to overcome stage fright or psych themselves up before going on stage. It’s all part of the performance.

But all art is a performance, to a certain degree, and my heart belongs to those who lean into the theatre of it all.

From my teenage days asking myself “what would Madonna do?” to my hardcore love affair with the art of drag, I’m actually surprised it took me until my 40s to follow this time-honoured artistic tradition and create an alter-ego of my very own.

When I decided that I wanted to make a go of it as a full-time artist-in-public, one of my non-negotiables was that I would stay true to myself and my vision. To make only the art that I wanted to make (and by that I mean the art of business as well as the art art) and find the people that resonated with that, rather than change to appease an audience.

However, after a lifetime of trying (and failing) to fit in, I still struggle sometimes to unmask and embody the ‘real’ me. Zuzu helps me to stay true to myself when my instincts tell me to try to conform. That’s why my YouTube channel and my podcast are both named for her.

But here's the thing: Zuzu isn't just a character I play. Zuzu is me. But she’s me with everything dialled up to eleven. She’s me at my most fabulous, my most audacious, my most fearless, and she doesn’t give two shits what anyone thinks of her.

She's my way of tapping into a different part of myself, of exploring new facets of my creativity and expression. She's bolder, more outrageous, and definitely more prone to taking big risks than everyday Eli.

She's a part of me that's always been there, lurking beneath the surface. She's the embodiment of my 'fuck it' attitude, my punk spirit, the part of me that's not afraid to take up space and make some noise.

Creating and embodying Zuzu has been an exercise in joy, in self-discovery, and in embracing parts of myself that maybe don’t see the light of day too often. She's helping me connect with my community (that’s you! Mwah!) in new and exciting ways; to make better, more authentic art; and she's injecting a hefty dose of fun into everything I do.

I’m curious - do you have an alter ego? Or have you ever been tempted to create one?

If not, I encourage you to have a play and explore what it could be like. What parts of yourself are you longing to express? What would it feel like to step into a new persona, even if just for a moment?

If we're all performing versions of ourselves every day - why not make it fabulous?